Holding Steady in Motion

Right now, midweek feels like I’m trying to keep my balance while everything keeps moving.

Not rushing.
Not stalled.
Just… compressed.

Yesterday, I left a few things unfinished. It wasn’t because I forgot them, but because they needed some room. I’ve noticed I’m holding back more this week, even in situations where I usually want to move quickly.

Yesterday, my boss asked me to look into something new and transformative. Normally, I would have jumped in right away. Instead, I read it, thought about it, and decided to wait until tomorrow. I wasn’t avoiding it. I just wanted to approach it with a clear mind.

There’s a lot going on, and I’m being careful about how I use my time this week.

I was surprised that yesterday felt easier than I thought it would. Not because I had less to do, but because I stayed focused. I didn’t switch tasks as much. I worked on what I wanted to finish, instead of letting distractions pull me away.

There were also moments that naturally slowed the day.

I realized how much I miss driving. Even though commuting was stressful, it gave me space to think; getting ready for work on the way in, and unwinding on the way home. Working from home took that away, and I still need to figure out how to replace it.

Later, since the kids were home again because of the storm, my oldest son came in and stood behind me. After a minute, he asked what I was working on. I showed him the report and the SQL, and we talked a bit about analytics and leadership. He was genuinely interested. When we finished, he gave me a hug and went back to his day.

That one stayed with me.

Last night, while I was watching a friend’s stream, a random comment about game mechanics led to a bigger realization about history, learning, and the path I’m on. I was surprised by how connected everything suddenly felt. I’m not done, and I’m not at the end—just heading in a direction.

Right now, I’m leaving a few things for my future self. There’s a big idea I don’t want to rush, and some energy I’m saving for later. Some projects are on hold (not abandoned) because I need to focus on other things this week.

I don’t feel like I’ve lost control. If anything, I feel more steady. But I do feel a stronger urge to move forward and upward. I’m still figuring out whether that’s driven by curiosity… or by not wanting to look back.

No answers yet.

Just attention.

This is where I’m writing from today.

Calm, but compressed.
Focused, with edges.
Holding steady in motion.