Back To Normal

I missed church yesterday.

For that matter, I missed most of Father's Day too.

Though I did have St. Patrick's Cathedral playing quietly in the background while I worked on a few things during the afternoon, and later listened to the sermon from our home church.

I also sent a text to my dad.

That felt about right.

Honestly, I don't really celebrate me.

It's just a me thing.

Father's Day is for the dads out there doing the best they can.

The great ones.

The exhausted ones.

The ones showing up day after day whether anyone notices or not.

I often feel like I'm behind where I should be.

Behind what I could be doing.

Behind the standard I've set for myself.

So, much like my birthday, I don't make a big deal out of it.

Nothing fancy.

The gift my wife got me is still sitting unopened.

It'll stay that way until I get off work tonight.

I hope my kids don't inherit that particular trait from me.

There is probably something healthy about celebrating your own milestones.

I'm just not very good at it.

For the first time in what feels like forever, I got to sleep in.

Not the kind of sleep where you're technically asleep but listening for every noise in the house.

The real kind.

My wife did what she always does.

She somehow managed to keep the house quiet enough that I could rest while making just enough noise that I knew everything was okay.

That balance is razor thin.

She's an all-star acrobat when it comes to walking that line.

Today was back to work.

Most of the morning was spent figuring out what mattered now versus what would matter later.

Emails.

Meetings.

Projects.

Updates.

The usual process of sorting through the pile and deciding what gets attention first.

I had a good one-on-one with my boss.

The teams functioned well while I was away.

No major escalations.

No disasters.

No emergencies waiting for me when I got back.

That brings a certain peace.

Not because I'm planning to take another week off anytime soon.

But because it reminds me that I can.

The house is slowly finding its rhythm again too.

Expectations have been laid out.

Each kid knows what needs to be done before they earn the right to do absolutely nothing.

The boys surprised me this morning.

Rooms cleaned.

Beds made.

Clothes changed.

Teeth brushed.

Especially surprising from Jacob and Asher.

Now they coast.

And that's okay.

We're giving all of them a week.

A week of low expectations.

Low risk.

A chance to recover.

Then we'll slowly start adding things back.

Baseball practice in the evenings.

Workouts in the mornings.

Walks.

Parks.

Trails.

The zoo.

Not so much that it becomes a burden.

Just enough to keep the memories flowing.

On my side of things, I'm catching up on Talos work, making website updates, and posting clips for the first time in what feels like forever.

School is wrapping up too.

This is the final week of my current classes.

Two new classes start next week.

But that's tomorrow's work.

Today is for meetings.

Today is for catching up.

Today is for letting the family recover.

Today is for getting back to normal.

And after the last couple of weeks, normal sounds pretty good.

There is a temptation to measure ourselves against the version of us that doesn't exist yet. The father we could be. The leader we could be. The person who somehow has everything figured out. But most of life isn't lived there. It's lived in the ordinary moments. Showing up. Doing the work. Loving the people around us. Trying again tomorrow. Sometimes the people who deserve a little grace the most are the ones least willing to give it to themselves.

Much love.

Stay safe.

Wash your damn hands.

See you Wednesday.